Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Hearts Desire

As I sit here watching another year of "A Home For The Holidays" I sit here in tears waiting for the children I've been praying for almost 10 years.  I am so excited for Gods great plan as we hope for another pregnancy and long for the adoptions we have so long awaited.  You see, my children won't just be born of my body but have LONG since been born in my heart.

I've been praying for the birth moms of our children, knowing that somehow they will have to endure pain so that we will one day have our family all together.  It breaks my heart, but I am grateful to her.  I'm grateful that our children will be a part of our home and our hearts forever.  I also pray each day that the birth mother will know that God loves her and treasures her and that we promise we will take care of her children even while she can't.  It's a bitter sweet moment and my heart is filled with so many emotions.  I pray that wherever my kids are right now, that God watches over them and keeps them safe.  That He would keep them close to Him and that they would know mommy is waiting patiently.

I also continue to long for a healthy pregnancy.  An experience that while I didn't have because of an accidental series of events, I hope for in the future. 

Whichever path God chooses first, I'll be absolutely happy with.  In the meantime, I sit her and wait.  I pray for mountains to be moved, for resources to knock on our doors and windows and to use this life as a testimony to Gods great plan.

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