Lord, Please Don't Forget Me. I'm still here...

This two week wait has proven to be an uphill battle emotionally.  As I wait for His answer, I pray He will not forget me.  That I won't be the only one still sitting here...waiting.

It hasn't been fun being around me.  My heart, mind and spirit are quite weary and I long for the answer to be "yes".  Reality is though, that God doesn't always say "yes".  That's my fear.  As I talk myself into who God isn't...He isn't a God of fear, jelousey, anger, rage, anxiety, bitterness, etc., I find myself trying my hardest to focus on what He IS...a God of Love, Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness, Kindness, Gentleness, Guidance and yes, sometimes miracles.

I've already received one miracle though.  One that while I wait for heaven to see him again, I also DREAM to experience the gift of pregnancy once again. For a more positive and beautiful outcome. A healthy child carried to term.

Two week waits to test are usually pins and needles, but this one is INTENSE.  It is the difference between a dream come true, or closing the door to open a whole new one.  It is HERE where I sit and wait.  I HOPE in the only one that has the power to create a miracle that Dr.'s cannot do.  It is now when I say, "Lord, please don't forget your daughter".

Waiting and Organizing In The Frigid Temps

Oh goodness!  Throughout this path of fertility treatment, I've heard MANY women talk of excessive testing as they wait.  This hasn't really hit me until my present cycle.  We have a TON of tests in the closet and I'm SO tempted to test.  It's too early and I know it.  I'm on eggshells waiting to find out the Lords plan for us.  There's an inkling of anxiety and I see myself wanting to control the outcome if only to test to see where we will be next month.

To calm my heart, mind and spirit, I've been reading scripture that fits the occassion.  I am atimate about staying the course and focusing solely on God.  THIS is my still season right now.  When I find my mind is getting side tracked, I try to redirect myself to do "what's right". Is testing REALLY going to change Gods outcome?  Wouldn't it be better to wait on the LORD'S plan to unravel and not to rush Him?!

God is good and I know He'll reveal His plan in time.  His timing as I've said before is PERFECT.

In the meantime, I've been getting things done around the house.  The temperatures have been in the single digits lately so it's given us ample time to reorganize here.  We bought bookshelves the other day that I had planned to put on each side of the sliding glad doors in the dining room.  They look PERFECT.  I have to change the curtains, but that will come in time.  We have a TON of books and we'll most likely have more coming in the house soon.  We have a book case upstairs and now two more downstairs.  I tilted my dining room table and it looks SO nice! Why didn't I think of that before??

We also got my new sewing machine off layway at Sears.  The desk we put together is complete and is also in the bay window area in the dining area.  It all comes together nicely.  I can't wait to get to my sewing again.  I have a quilting class in February to look forward too.

I'll start putting pictures up again when we get a new camera. Oh how I miss blogging with pictures!

Love to you all!