Disappearing Post Comments

Hm, I saw AT LEAST 3 comments on my blog the other day AND confirmations in my email.  Now they seem to be gone.  I appoligize to everyone who commented. I don't think I deleted them.  Has anyone had any issues with responses vanishing?!

Maybe it's just me!

Parties, illness, bacteria and newfound joy!

Hi there everyone!

It's been awhile since my last post, but things have been pretty busy on our end.  Our lives seemed to be filled with Dr.'s appointments, 17P injections, and prepping for the upcoming months.  I must say that I'm now at a point where I can enjoy this pregnancy.  I am at 18wks this week and the upcoming weeks will be quite the milestones for us.  Particularly wks 22 and wks 24.  Week 22 was my preterm birth with Jackson Jeffrey and week 24 is the viability milestone. 

So far things have been pretty good.  I've had bouts of infections.  There was bacterial vaginosis which we took care of at wk 4.  Then I landed in the hospital last month after announcing to our family that we were having a baby by a family game of charades.  Now THAT was fun!  The game not the hospital jaunt.

I ended up in the hospital with 9 hours of vomiting and diarrhea where they found out I had caught another bacterial infection from the busy Dr.'s office we were last in.  I spent the night at the hospital and while the baby was JUST FINE, momma thought she was going to die without water to drink because she was hooked to an IV with several leads!

Since then, so far so good.  While the 17P injections (thick gel-like progesterone given to stop preterm labor) hurt terribly and cause the muscle to swell, I'm willing to suck it up to keep baby where he or she needs to be.

We're looking forward to fridays scan which will not only monitor my cervical length, but if baby cooperates, we'll know the gender as well.  It will be nice to put a face with a name and be able to actually call our baby by name.  I had thought I would leave it a secret, but emotionally I NEED to bond with our little one.  I need to let the fear of loss go and enjoy this little one I'm carrying. 

Right now I get SO EXCITED just to hold our little one come fall but evenmoreso, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, time at the beach, fun time at the zoo, etc. etc.  It's a gift and I know God will take care of our little one and guide me emotionally, physically AND spiritually through so we can hold a healthy, happy little baby at Harvest Time.

I'll be back soon!

Surprise! There's a rainbow of Gods promises.

Feb. 9th, our 10 year anniversary, we found out we're having a beautiful rainbow baby (miracle conceived after losing a child). Please join us as we pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy with a beautiful baby come October. ♥

Seeing this picture, I was finally able to breathe.  I felt my baby saying to me, "Hi mom!  I'm okay, do not worry. You know God created me and has already counted each strand of hair on my head.  Worry not!  For HE is with US mommy".  That little hand waving at me just makes my cup runneth over with joy!  Thank you Lord for this new little miraculous gift. 

Busy Season And A Bit Of Heartache

Hello everyone!

I haven't forgotten about you.  Things have gotten pretty busy over here so I haven't been on as much these days.  Doug has been doing alot of overtime at work, I've been trying to make meals for those in need either from church or elsewhere while also catching up on some reading. 

Today Doug cut our Pekingese's hair today.  A little choppy poor thing, but at least she looks a bit more clean.  I also got fed up with her shedding.  This year she's started to shed quite alot more.  I don't know if it's our New York winters or just a different year.  I hope to have a picture of her up soon.

I'll be gone for a few more weeks as Dougs family are coming to town and we're hosting a BIG dinner here.  It will be exciting!

For now I'm trying to keep up with the house. 

If you can all keep my friend Wendy in your prayers I'd appreciate it.  We found out that her 23 year old son was stabbed several times while trying to come to the defense of a young girl.  They're investigating everything.  We took a huge tray to her and I filled up a cart with more food and drink as well as cinnamon rolls for breakfast for the crew.  I just held her as she cried. 

My heart goes out to her.  She has many children in her house that were deemed "unadoptable" either because they were too old, or because of a health issue.  Her and her husband have not only fostered them, but adopted them.  Her son was one of those boys.  While some of them have come through tragic circumstances and may have made some wrong decisions, they seemed to have thrived with my friend and her family.  Her son clarence was a bright and kind young man and it breaks my heart that a tragic act of violence took him so young. 

The gift that God gives us is that our children are HOME.  They are waiting for US and are free.  The sadness of it all is that we are the ones left behind and it takes a whole lot of grace from God to get through the grief and anger.  It's God who picks us up when we cannot stand on our own two feet.

I'll never understand the reasoning behind killing another person to get revenge or even why a person would ruin their lives forever by taking a life and going to prison.  There are questions I have that may never be explained until I get to heaven myself.  ((sigh))

Summer is coming, and sadly crime will go up here in the city.  I can't help in my friends own grief, think of all the other mothers and fathers who will go through this same loss because of disrespect for the gift of life.  My only hope is that God will give the love to these teens and young adults that they may not have had in their own homes.  I pray that God would deliver them from sin and that they would walk eternally with Him forever.

Please pray for my friend Wendy as she goes through the funeral plans and through the long grief process of losing a son. 

May God bless you all!!

A New Camera

I'm very excited because after we broke our camera last spring, we have finally chosen a new one.  I'm looking forward to the pictures we'll be taking and I'll finally be able to post future projects. 

I hope your all doing well.  It's been pretty cold here and Doug has been getting in extra hours due to low staffing at the hospital. 

I looking forward to posting blog entries again.

Lord, Please Don't Forget Me. I'm still here...

This two week wait has proven to be an uphill battle emotionally.  As I wait for His answer, I pray He will not forget me.  That I won't be the only one still sitting here...waiting.

It hasn't been fun being around me.  My heart, mind and spirit are quite weary and I long for the answer to be "yes".  Reality is though, that God doesn't always say "yes".  That's my fear.  As I talk myself into who God isn't...He isn't a God of fear, jelousey, anger, rage, anxiety, bitterness, etc., I find myself trying my hardest to focus on what He IS...a God of Love, Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness, Kindness, Gentleness, Guidance and yes, sometimes miracles.

I've already received one miracle though.  One that while I wait for heaven to see him again, I also DREAM to experience the gift of pregnancy once again. For a more positive and beautiful outcome. A healthy child carried to term.

Two week waits to test are usually pins and needles, but this one is INTENSE.  It is the difference between a dream come true, or closing the door to open a whole new one.  It is HERE where I sit and wait.  I HOPE in the only one that has the power to create a miracle that Dr.'s cannot do.  It is now when I say, "Lord, please don't forget your daughter".

Waiting and Organizing In The Frigid Temps

Oh goodness!  Throughout this path of fertility treatment, I've heard MANY women talk of excessive testing as they wait.  This hasn't really hit me until my present cycle.  We have a TON of tests in the closet and I'm SO tempted to test.  It's too early and I know it.  I'm on eggshells waiting to find out the Lords plan for us.  There's an inkling of anxiety and I see myself wanting to control the outcome if only to test to see where we will be next month.

To calm my heart, mind and spirit, I've been reading scripture that fits the occassion.  I am atimate about staying the course and focusing solely on God.  THIS is my still season right now.  When I find my mind is getting side tracked, I try to redirect myself to do "what's right". Is testing REALLY going to change Gods outcome?  Wouldn't it be better to wait on the LORD'S plan to unravel and not to rush Him?!

God is good and I know He'll reveal His plan in time.  His timing as I've said before is PERFECT.

In the meantime, I've been getting things done around the house.  The temperatures have been in the single digits lately so it's given us ample time to reorganize here.  We bought bookshelves the other day that I had planned to put on each side of the sliding glad doors in the dining room.  They look PERFECT.  I have to change the curtains, but that will come in time.  We have a TON of books and we'll most likely have more coming in the house soon.  We have a book case upstairs and now two more downstairs.  I tilted my dining room table and it looks SO nice! Why didn't I think of that before??

We also got my new sewing machine off layway at Sears.  The desk we put together is complete and is also in the bay window area in the dining area.  It all comes together nicely.  I can't wait to get to my sewing again.  I have a quilting class in February to look forward too.

I'll start putting pictures up again when we get a new camera. Oh how I miss blogging with pictures!

Love to you all!