Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thought-Provoking Joyfulness

This weekend has been an interesting one. While I'm feeling more alert and having a less cloudy mind for the most part, I am so wired at night I can't sleep. Then by the time I start to feel sleepy, my husband is deeply sleeping and in snoring mode.

So the past few days I've been overtired and grumpy. Most of this I've noticed is because my bloodsugar is out of whack and I'm either way too low (hence the grumpy feeling) or way too high.  I also struggle with Seasonal Disorder as many Northerners face each year during the winter months.

Saturday was my last sock class for "knitting in the round" I had a great time with the women chatting while creating my own sock. Now I have a leg and am almost done with the foot then on to the toe. I'm quite pleased with the outcome. It's not totally bad, in fact it LOOKS like a sock. I must admit that I took on quite the project for a newbie. I mean, a scarf would have been much easier. But I'm SO grateful that I took this project on and finished it to the end without fear. I DID, however feel quite icky from the low I had from not sleeping the night before. It makes me quite proud that I pushed through it.

Sunday was a totally different story altogether. I DIDN'T make it to church. This is seeming to become more of a "spiritual battle" than anything. I think I've made it once or twice the past several weeks. All because there was either inability to sleep or I had severe anxiety and depression which caused an inability to sleep with all these things on my mind. I had my husband go without me this weekend. Church time is important to me because it's a way to be fed the Word of God. Oh, don't get me wrong, sitting in a pew doesn't make a person anymore Christian if they don't really KNOW Christ, but what it does do is strengthen your relationship with Him once you do. It enables me to grow in Gods word and teachings with an opportunity to share in friendship with those who also know Him. Lets face it, the world isn't necessarily a fun place to live. We see things happen to good people. Illnesses, natural occurances like what happened in Haiti or down south with Katrina where there was nobody to blame for a storm. It's those we surround ourselves with who know Jesus that enable us to remember Gods promises. They help where there is a need and are a delight in troubled times. It's good to surround ourselves with like-minded people who love the Lord.

So when something as simple as sleep or anxiety causes me to miss time in Gods presence in His house to learn more of His word, It's frustrating for me. I struggle with it. Unfortunately satan knows our weaknesses and plays on them. We can either allow him to or focus on Christ.

So here is my learning experience for the weekend...I'm finding "attitude" is the biggest issue. I've been noticing that my attitude isn't the most positive one. In fact, "worse case scenareo" plays in my mind most often. I want to protect myself from pain. The issue here is that in reality, bad things DO happen. It's the attitude we keep through it all that matters.

Finding joy in the midst of our sorrows. NOT happiness. I've learned that Happiness is derived from certain HAPPENINGS. Happiness is an emotion that lasts only temporarily. JOY is finding a positive attitude and focusing on something higher (God) with great HOPE. Joy is an attitude of the heart.
Going through a valley doesn't mean we have to pretend we are happy. We can be in a "valley" and still find a positive attitude of Great hope in our hearts.

It's something I'm really starting to understand. NOW if I can start putting that to practice. Isn't it sometimes hard putting things into practice? I'm finding that to have a healthy life, we must put body, mind and spirit in balance, not just visually injesting what we should be doing but actually putting them to practice.
One might say not just talking, but walking.

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