This two week wait has proven to be an uphill battle emotionally. As I wait for His answer, I pray He will not forget me. That I won't be the only one still sitting here...waiting.
It hasn't been fun being around me. My heart, mind and spirit are quite weary and I long for the answer to be "yes". Reality is though, that God doesn't always say "yes". That's my fear. As I talk myself into who God isn't...He isn't a God of fear, jelousey, anger, rage, anxiety, bitterness, etc., I find myself trying my hardest to focus on what He IS...a God of Love, Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness, Kindness, Gentleness, Guidance and yes, sometimes miracles.
I've already received one miracle though. One that while I wait for heaven to see him again, I also DREAM to experience the gift of pregnancy once again. For a more positive and beautiful outcome. A healthy child carried to term.
Two week waits to test are usually pins and needles, but this one is INTENSE. It is the difference between a dream come true, or closing the door to open a whole new one. It is HERE where I sit and wait. I HOPE in the only one that has the power to create a miracle that Dr.'s cannot do. It is now when I say, "Lord, please don't forget your daughter".